The insides of Vanessas mind!

Lately for some reason when I listen to certain country songs I get really sad about my boyfriend leaving. I know it's not for another 3 months but for some reason everything hits me and I start to get really sad (I even cry some times). I don't tell anyone of course that I'm sad because I can't. I can't tell my bf that I don't want him to leave because that wouldn't be right of me to do that to him. He's the one making the big sacrifice not me. I'm not going to a new place. So I guess i'll just keep away from country music for awhile or I'll just build myself up by becoming tolerable to the music, so it doesn't affect me.

So since the last time I wrote a lot has come up in my life. Life always has it's changes sometimes it's a slow change and sometimes it's a fast curve ball change that you didn't know was coming. My boyfriend of 3 years has been talking about joining the military for awhile. When I stop and think about it I think he's mentioned it ever since we first start dating (so I guess I should've saw this coming). Last week he went to talk to a recruiter about joining. I thought oh it's just talking he may not sign up if he knows how long he'll be away from home and what not. But I guess I was just psyching myself out. So this week he's taking all of his test to join. After all the tests on Wednesday he takes his oath and will be going to boot camp in November. He'll graduate in and around the end of April but wont come home till around March. It's only 4 months or so but it's during the holiday season. I haven't spent the holidays without him